Sunglints off Snow

Sixteen months ago today I lost my husband, after his valiant fight with cancer.   In some ways it feels like just a moment ago.  In others, a whole lifetime.

 The healing process has been a bit like tending a bleeding, gaping wound.  The edges have healed and the depth is not quite as vast.  But the wound is definitely there, and easily bleeds.

 The three boys have dealt with it in varying ways and degrees.  I continue to wade through life and all it’s events as a single person.   Not so easy after twenty-some years of being a couple.

I watch the passing of seasons with renewed eyes.  We are heading into the bleakest of seasons…winter.   But even in the gray and cold and intense Minnesota deepfreeze, there is a beauty that cannot be denied.  The glint of sun on snow is blinding at times, yet I force myself to gaze at it with eyes wide open.  This season of winter holds a promise of what is to come…..the awakening of all that is around us with the hope of spring and summer beyond.  New life.  Renewed life.

Much like myself. 

I send prayers on wings of hope, that my husband can still hear my words, my cries.  That God hears them doubly.

 And when my heart is ready, that He send someone to walk this path with me,  so neither of us will walk alone.